


Clausurae

by Briseis_Lavellan



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition, Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: Closure, F/M, Past Relationship(s), Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-01
Updated: 2016-06-05
Packaged: 2018-07-11 14:05:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,126
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7055620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Briseis_Lavellan/pseuds/Briseis_Lavellan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cullen is happy and in love with Inquisitor Evelyn Trevelyan, but the arrival of a certain legendary hero has him remembering old feelings long subdued.  Warden Commander Solona Amell did not know what to expect when she met him again.  She too needed to work out old feelings and memories before she could continue with her personal mission.  Can these two gain the closure they seek?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I was disappointed in the fact that Amell from Dragon Age: Origins was reduced to a brief mention when Cullen spoke about her. Same in Dragon Age 2 when he was all “I knew an Amell once”. Just a couple of lines and then nothing. I suppose I took a personal affront because I crushed hard on him in the beginning of her playthrough. She refuses to just be a footnote. Clausurae is Latin for “Closure”.
> 
> I pretty much just threw words down and left as was. I was impatient. I did go back later to polish over more glaring (to me anyway) errors. Cullen and Trevelyan are so much easier for me to write than Solas and Lavellan. I already have a second chapter for this in the works. 
> 
>  

**Chapter 1**  


For the first time in what seemed like forever, Cullen was content. Even in the midst of a war with a magister with a god complex, he did not feel the heavy weight upon his shoulders. It was all thanks to the woman who ran it. Evelyn.

Their relationship was still very new and fresh, and he felt that he was just bumbling through it, but he dared himself to feel happy. He did not have to hide his affections and they were reciprocated. While they have not officially declared their love, they were not attempting to hide it and the rumors would echo throughout Skyhold about how Lady So-and-so spotted them stealing a kiss or two on the battlements. They didn’t care. It was nice to not have to watch someone he loved from a distance, not to keep his feelings to himself, and not to fear consequences of loving her. A stark contrast to his previous life.

They were walking on the battlements, hand in hand, when a messenger requested a word with the Inquisitor. There was a visitor, an important one, and Evelyn’s presence was required to greet them. After the messenger had left, Evelyn sighed while running a hand through her short auburn hair. Cullen chuckled and leaned to kiss her on the cheek, earning him a smile.

“I suppose I can’t put off meeting whoever this person is. I don’t think I’m wrong in assuming it’s another noble who thinks the world should stop to cater them.”, she grumbled. He shook his head, retaking her hand after releasing it when the messenger had arrived.

“You might be right.” He pulls her to him, nuzzling her neck.

“I…could just not go. Not right away.”, she said, her breath hitching at the end.

“Maybe…” he said as he lightly placed kisses from her neck to her jaw and settling on her lips. She wrapped her arms around his neck, pressing her lips to his harder, wanting to be closer. Reluctantly, she forced herself to stop with a groan.

“But Josephine would probably have my head on a pike outside Skyhold’s walls.” she said, wryly. He grinned.

“I have no doubt that she would have us both flayed alive.” The inner circle knew of their relationship and anytime he and Evelyn were late, they suspected the cause. If she were late or put off a meeting with some dignitary or noble, Josephine might implode. Halamshiral had been an event of great stress for the ambassador. Not just because of the violent events that occurred, but because she had worried about the members being on their best behavior, that the Inquisition would have been kicked out of the palace. To be fair, it was her job to make sure the Inquisition was seen in the best light so she could negotiate alliances. The least they could do was make her job less taxing. So with great reluctance, they parted with one final deep kiss and made their way to the great hall.

They entered Josephine’s office and were greeted by the sight of the ambassador at her desk speaking with someone in the armor worn by Grey Wardens. The person had her back to them, so all they saw was long red hair to her waist and the uniform. Josephine noticed their entry and stood to greet them.

“Oh, so glad that you could finally make it.” Although she said it politely, there was a note of irritation that only the Inquisitor and commander can pick up on, “I am so glad that we can all finally meet, though Leliana will be a little late. Lady Inquisitor Trevelyan and Commander Cullen, this is the Hero of Ferelden, Warden Commander Solona Amell.”

It wasn’t the name that froze him in his tracks, but the face after the warden had turned to face them. Of the dreams from Ferelden’s Kinloch Hold circle, her face was often the one that haunted him. The same face that he would see in dreams was now looking at him in life, although it is more tired. While he stood, stunned, Evelyn greeted the warden before them.

“I am honored to finally meet you, Warden-Commander. I did not expect to see you after your previous correspondence.”

“I am very honored to make your acquaintance as well. I’ve heard of all the good things you have done. After hearing about Adamant, I could not continue my quest until I came to offer my apologies. I also offer my aid.” she looked up at him and her smile became warm, “Hello, Cullen. It is very good to see you again.”

Her voice was exactly how he remembered it and he felt a familiar stirring in his heart that he had always felt when he had heard it. “I… Yes, it is good to see you as well.” He could feel himself becoming the stuttering mess that he had been when he was young.

“I had forgotten that you would know each other from the circle in Ferelden. Warden Commander, you should be able to meet with Leliana later. I am sure she will be very pleased to see you.” Josephine said before discussing sleeping arrangements for their guest. As Evelyn spoke with both of the women, all Cullen could do was stand there reliving the last moments he had with the Warden mage, and seep in the shame from last words he had ever said to her.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where his burden is lifted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I endeavor to try to keep everyone in character. I admit that these characters are so in-depth, I have a hard time capturing their personalities. Her interactions seemed rushed because they are. I could have just not included them, but c’mon, there’s no way the Hero of Ferelden could just come to Skyhold and there not be a ruckus.

_ “And to think I once thought we were too hard on you.” _ __  
__  


_ “Only mages have that much power at their fingertips. Only mages are so susceptible to the infernal whisperings of the demons.” _

 

_ “No one ever listens, not until it's far too late. Maker turn his gaze on you. I hope your compassion hasn't doomed us all. “ _ __  
__  
His head was filled with every harsh word he had said to her that time.  Evelyn looked up at him and noticed his distress.  She must have remembered their conversation about his circle mage.  She silently slipped her hand into his and gave a comforting squeeze before begging for Josephine’s attention.  Something about an urgent matter that only the ambassador could help with. 

  
“What about the Warden Commander?” Josephine asked, worried about their esteemed guest.  Evelyn smiled and gestured to Cullen.     
  
“Our very own Commander can give her a tour of Skyhold.  They are acquainted after all, so I’m sure she will be fine.  Is that right Commander?”   
  
Before Cullen could answer Evelyn cut him off, “Of course I’m right.  This is urgent, Josephine.”   
  
The Antivan noblewoman sighed in resignation and gave her apologies. As she headed back to her desk, Evelyn quickly winked at him before discussing some diplomatic matter.  This left Cullen with nothing to do but to lead Solona out of the office and to show her around.     
  
*****   
The sun was setting by the time he led her to the battlements.  Her mere presence had caused an uproar after word got around that the Hero of Ferelden was visiting.  When introduced to Varric in the main hall he seemed very pleased to meet Hawke’s second cousin, and joked about how heroism ran in the family.  She had seemed to take a liking to him and even agreed to share tales of her adventures over a game of Wicked Grace.  She did not seem to know what to think of Dorian at first, her previous encounter with Tevinter mages being an unpleasant one.  After becoming acquainted, she warmed up to this flashy character of a man.  She compared him to another friend of hers and seemed to fall into a state of nostalgia. She smiled during the tour of the rookery.  Leliana was not there, so she seemed content to learn more about the scouts that made up her old friend’s spy network.  “I created a monster.” she had said when she glimpsed a correspondence that relayed the well-being of Leliana’s nugs.  She did not elaborate, and Cullen did not ask.  Blackwall had seemed absolutely star struck when he met the famous Warden Commander, the Hero of Fereldan.  They conversed, but Cullen noticed that Blackwall would shift uncomfortably when certain topics about Warden life were brought up. He mentally reasoned that it was nervousness, but a feeling remained.  She thoroughly enjoyed meeting The Iron Bull and his chargers in the tavern, and she seemed especially charmed by the one called Krem.  Cullen was not sure if he appreciated Bull’s muttering about “sexy red-heads”, but tried to quell the ill-feeling.  He had no claim to the former circle mage, and then there was Evelyn.     
  
They had to stop when the Grey Wardens from Adamant came to her, expressing their shame at their parts in the events at Adamant Fortress.  She had to promise them that she would speak with them later.  Then there were the mages, awed by the fact that she was once one of them and she made quite a mark on the world and in a good way.  Now here they were, he was going to show her his office, which was on the way back to the castle.  Before they made it to the tower where he worked and slept, she stopped.  He sensed that she was no longer following him and turned to look at her questioningly.  She had her head down with her long hair hiding most of her features.     
  
“Warden Commander, is…” he began to ask, but a musical laugh interrupted him.    
  
“Cullen, just call me Solona.  Unless you prefer to keep distancing us with lofty titles,  _ Commander _ .” she said looking up at him with an amused smile.     
  
She was as beautiful now as she was back when she was in Kinloch Hold.  She did have a few light lines in the corners of her eyes, but he knew the lives they lead could quickly age anyone.  He himself found a few silvery strands in his own hair and he was not out of his mid-thirties.  Even though she seemed older, she was perhaps still one of the most beautiful women in the world.  Back when he was a young templar and recognized his feelings for her, he had been reduced to a stuttering fool every time he found himself in her presence.  Now that she was looking at him with those violet eyes of hers, he could easily fall back into it.  Of course, he does.    
  
“N...no, we can… umm…  use our given names.  I suppose we are equal in rank now anyway.”     
  
“How far the templar and circle mage have come.”  she said lightly, amused at the old habit,  and turned towards the wall and leaning on it, overlooking the courtyard below.     
  
“I am sorry.”  he blurted.  She quickly turned her head, puzzled.     
  
“For what?”   
  
“For those things that I have said… at Kinloch Hold.”

“Oh, that?” once again, a smile but not one of amusement.  “You don’t have to apologize, Cullen.”   
  
He did, otherwise the memories wouldn’t have tortured him so.  Guilt would not have weighed so heavily.   
  
“You saved me and I had said horrible things to you.  Not only that, but I had viewed mages differently afterwards, thought them less than human.  In some ways I still fear what they can do, what they become.  I am trying not to, but it’s there and…” he cut off when he realized she had walked towards him and had grabbed his hands.  She was staring at him with the unspoken urge for him to look at her.     
  
“There is nothing to forgive, but I forgive you.  I never held it against you.  You were tortured by a demon summoned by a blood mage.  All of your friends were killed by the same blood mage who managed to convince other mages to aid him.  I would have been more concerned if you had not been affected by any of it.”  He closed his eyes in shame.   
  
“That is still no excuse.” he opened his eyes and looked at her. “Thank you, for saving me.  Thank you for releasing me. Thank you… for your graciousness.”     
  
Her smile was warm, beautiful and it had a quality about it where he felt absolved of everything that weighed on him.  His heart felt light and he could only swallow, not able to come up with anything worthy in response.   
  
“I suppose we should get back.  I have a feeling your Inquisitor will be wanting me to return you.”     
  
That caused him to blush and she laughed merrily.  When they finally returned, Evelyn had been waiting and when she looked at him she must have seen a change and she smiled and he felt his heart warm.  Solona smiled at the both of him before slipping off to find her quarters.   


**Author's Note:**

> I have a blog. Character info, pics, and my mental DA soundtrack exist here. 
> 
> My Tumblr: http://briseis-lavellan.tumblr.com/post/144693518027/bards-corner


End file.
